It's been 5 years already.
There are many things I've been through in these 5 years, literally every single thing... that I wish I could tell you in person. But knowing that you'll never reply all of my letters, or even read any of them makes me tortured.
Even though thinking about what happened that day is no longer the first thing that appears in my head when I wake up, nor the last thing I think about before I fall asleep, even though it's been 5 years, I still miss you. One of the hardest things that has come with it is the realization of how much time has passed without you. I still have days and weeks that haven't been easy on me although it might seem so, days and weeks when it’s just as painful as it was 5 years ago, days and weeks when it gets really tough to be dealing with. And I still have moments that spin my head, break my heart, when all I can do is crying over something that can't be returned, because I really have no clue about how things could gone so wrong.
Oh, okay, I hate falling into sorrow... it really doesn't suit me well. I'm sorry, this isn't supposed to be an open-for-public letter, but I'm really clueless about people whom I can talk to, so I think writing on my blog is a precise way to 'relieve' this.
In the end I just want to say that, you're missed more than ever.
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