Mungkin beberapa hal memang diciptakan untuk selalu dipertanyakan.
Seperti,
ke mana kontemplasi pada waktu tengah malam ini akan bermuara?
Lamunan yang berujung pada mempertanyakan eksistensi?
Semuanya.
Mengapa se-monoton ini? Waktu-waktu di mana hidup berlalu begitu saja, seperti semestinya yang kita tahu.
Standardisasi yang konstan.
Keinginan untuk sejenak berhenti mengada.
Suara-suara dalam kepala, tentang segala pertanyaan dan jawaban yang tak kunjung temu, tentang hidup dan segala yang semu;
apa yang sebenarnya kita cari?
Setelah semua tapak tilas, langkah yang diambil, perjalanan yang ditempuh, peluh dan keluh, semangat dan upaya;
apakah kita benar-benar memiliki arah?
Apakah selalu perihal bersua dengan mimpi?
Setelah itu, apa lagi?
Keputusan-keputusan yang memisahkan hari ini dengan masa lalu, tepatkah?
Apa yang kita lakukan sekarang,
tepatkah?
Mungkin beberapa hal memang diciptakan seperti ini,
membingungkan.

JTN // 01:11 AM -
waktu rentan bingung

Does it ever cross your mind about how everything is temporary yet here we are, chasing the world for the sake of fleeting joy?

[Review] Reply 1988 (2015): Heart-warming Slice of Life Retro

Let's go back to the iconic era of baggy jeans, hair rollers, and walkman; where Seoul was becoming the host city of Olympic Games and happiness was meant to be able to spend time with the family, simply eating or watching television together. At least it was for the five families in Ssangmun-dong district. Back then in 1988, not everything was already made, but it was just more than enough for them to always have a place to come back to: family. You'll be drawn to love each one of them once you follow their stories and see how small moments in daily life do matter.

A Little Encouragement

This, I'm writing this not only to myself, but also to you, who feel dull. To you, who feel tired. To you, who feel like giving up. I want you to read this and finally feel what I try to convey. I want you to feel better afterwards, knowing words always have this kind of magic of healing, to finally remind you that you are not alone and you can't give up.

Have you ever feel like you're never enough? Like life has been doing unfair to you. Like everything just doesn't fall into the right places. Like you've tried so hard, all out, but got nothing in return. Like you just barely live, merely exist. You always try to convince myself that everything is going to be alright, that you don't need to push yourself too hard, to overthink unnecessary thoughts, to feel them unhealthy feelings all at once.

The Blind Earth

Love is inevitably shining
Makes falling in love way more obvious
When you smile more than you normally do
Or the frequency you look at her escalates real quick
Gleaming eyes full of affection
Conversations with specific tenderness

It's like you let the whole world see
How madly in love you are
Your action shows just enough for me to know
for em to tell
You love her so much they said
You better move on they told me

How stubborn I am for loving someone
who declares his love so boldly
Shouldn't let myself fall in too deep
Shouldn't let myself hurt for long
But I know you deserve more
The moment you saw her with another man
You refused to believe what happened
She is my sun you claimed
With no clue that it belongs to every planet
that I am the moon
and you are my fucking earth

(my so-called poems don't always reflect the current state I am in; it's just love—relating to its joy and sorrow—is always a beautiful subject, isn't it?)

Simplicity to Intricacy

It's funny how something so simple,
can turn into something so intricate,
slowly but surely.
Like a hello into hours call,
a jest into deep night talk,
a gaze into arm in arm.
Something so elusive.
Like a closeness into feelings,
a misunderstanding into distant gap,
and a silence into heartbreak.

Dandelion

She always resembles a dandelion;
wild, yet vulnerable
frail, yet represents faithfulness
strong, yet broken.
She is always all at once.
It is never easy to divine
if she is either doomed, or still on her shine
for she never refuses to be blown away
for she calls it a dance with the wind,
who only treats her like a dust.