The Leaked Feelings

That moment when you have to take a deep breath before speaking because you know you're really close to crying.

But you failed.

Because you have been hiding it for so long and got tired in all of a sudden.

You always convince yourself that everything is okay.

You keep your feelings buried.

You never tell anyone how you really feel, even your closest ones.

It's not that you don't want to.

You're afraid they won't listen, because sometimes you don't believe that they truly care.

No one cares.

So you keep it all inside you.

But controlling emotions isn't easy.

It's tiring.

So there's just one time when your defense isn't working anymore.

Your storage of feelings is overload.

You realize you aren't as strong as you think you were.

Then all the things you've buried got leaked.

They turn into tears that started falling down your face.

You can't hold them.

It's just too much that taking a deep breath doesn't even work.

Your soul feels like dying.

You lost control.

So you keep crying.

Let never-ending rain out.

Because it's the only realization of leaked feelings.

It's the only way to relieve yourself.

It's the only escape from getting hurt inside all over again.

It feels so painful yet it somehow makes you better.

You don't care that you failed.

You don't care about what happens around you.

You're crying till what's left is emptiness.

Till you know one lil fact that you've been pretending for so long, you ignored yourself that you forgot you do matter.

(PS: Purely made by heart, abaikan kesalahan kata)