If it was months—or God knows exactly how long ago, I'd say that I could type nearly all the things I need to get out inside my mind with certainty; where they were just being transformed into words undoubtedly. They seemed so penetrable that I let myself drown in it. Those are the moments of ultimate passion I always utterly enjoy. It's like you're just willingly being honest to clarify all mixed feelings in order to immortalize them.
Not too long afterwards, I was glad to know I still did it persistently. I was having this particularly big urge to write down anything, all those floating ideas because they sometimes just popped out in all of a sudden. I bleed; I let them breath. It kept on its track, even if the frequency was getting less somehow.
Then life happened.
I don't know why, it all started with me finding it so hard to arrange sentences the way I used to do. I got to have quite a long time of silence to figure out what I was about to write—how should I write it. My thoughts needed to get out but I just felt like getting some kind of walls built up in front of them, handicapped but actually not. I tried to, but it just didn't work well.
And by the time I sit in front of my laptop, staring at the blinking cursor and the blank pages, I realized I felt lost.
I realized I've lost my mojo.
I didn't mean to stop bleeding but this circumstance was just kind of inevitable.
I lost my writing time a lot because of life, when in fact I just never get enough time. Maybe it was just me getting sick or experiencing writer's block and stuff, which is customary. But this kept on happening for so long it has gotten to the point where I felt so guilty for only keeping them ideas inside and abandoning my writing project. It seemed more like I chose to deal with life problems and let it consume me without even considering to take some quality time for my own passion. That's why I'm certainly sure life was throwing me out of my writing groove. Some recent problems occured were the main ones that sidetracking it. I got so perplexed in the complexity of life I forgot writing may become the best escape.
I know I suck for blaming it all on life.
Well after all the complains I try to get my writing mojo back and I hope I can do one of the things I love the most in life without any obstacles anymore.
{{{ I'm sorry I've been babbling a lot here instead of posting some kind of worth-reading or interesting or brain-feeding or at least fun to read articles because sometimes it's just what blogs are for ✌ }}}
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