George Bernard Shaw once said that the single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.
You can communicate like usual with each other, but you don't actually communicate. That's why lots of relationship don't work out due to lack of communication. On this side one feels like suffering, while on the other side one feels like everything is fine. One feels like not getting anything, while the other feels like giving too much already.
Both can sense something does not fall into the right place but still manage to do fine, until one gets tired of pretending and the shells don't seem to work out anymore.
Therefore to communicate is the main key. It always takes two to tango. You can't expect people to know what you think or what you feel, so you need to communicate. If you want them to act according to how you want them to, communicate. Talk and listen.
It's not easy; it's going to be hard, but you can take your time. You feel like you can never be ready but actually, you can. It's worth taking the risk than going through days, letting it pile up inside you.
When it comes to particular things, silence is never golden.
If you miss someone, tell them. If there's something wrong, point it out. If it doesn't feel right, express it. If it makes you suffer, don't just sit down and let it gnaw you. If you don't want to talk to someone, don't ignore them; it's better to leave with an explanation. If you have different opinions and points of view, try to make a conversation, meet in the middle. And then listen, listen to each other. Ernest Hemingway said that when people talk, listen completely; most people never listen.
I know it's easier said than done, there are lots of things that make it hard to do so; you can be afraid of their response. You can be afraid of them not feeling the same way. Of not being heard, of rejection, or any unexpected feedback. You wonder if it's going to cost so much. You think it can ruin everything that seems to be fine when it is not. You're not ready to accept changes that will come out of it, that everything you're already used to won't be the same. So you just simply think it would be better to keep it to yourself. But unfortunately, things don't work out by themselves. You have to be the one who makes decisions. Actually connecting instead of wondering.
There are going to be consequences for what you do because you can't get everything at the same time. Everything in life needs sacrifice. In order to be happy, you need to get rid of the pain source.
But what if your source of pain is your source of happiness too?
It feels right yet it feels wrong. S/he makes you feel pain but without him/her, you'd feel worse.
Try re-define your happiness. Does s/he actually give you happiness or make you think that this, was well enough of how happiness is supposed to be?
Here is the hard-to-swallow pill: what truly makes you happy won't make you suffer. We often forget this since we can't control what we feel, but sometimes emotional attachment can be so comforting that it becomes deceiving. Notice the difference.
If you've forgotten your own value by constantly trying to prove your worth to someone, that's when it gets unhealthy. Decide to fix it or cut it off. Learn to be better or leave. And if you've talked it out to clear things up, then the rest is not yours to handle. You can't change people unless they want to change themselves.
If you decide to stay and let it be, that's okay, but you have to accept it and don't complain. If you want to talk it out, that's great, I hope you find a way to deal with the consequences.
Just because you're afraid of bleeding, it doesn't mean you have to live with the thorn thrusting you. You think if you get rid of it, you will bleed, and it will hurt more than the pain the thorn has caused you. But you're so used to the pain you think healing is an option.
You're going to get into far worse condition if you don't pull the thorn out. Remember that the inflammation process exists in order for the wound to heal.
You may end up with the scars, but at least the pain is gone.
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